Zombie Twinkies: Back From The Dead

Twinkies Mascot

Twinkies will always find a way to survive.

A cursory search across any social network such as Pinterest or Twitter will provide ample pinings and lamentations about Hostess and their beloved, but dead Twinkies. You will find “Rest In Peace” pictures with the years of 1930 – 2012.

I know Halloween is over, but allow me to calm your fears: like zombies,¬†Twinkies can’t die. How can I make such an outrageous claim? After all, Hostess looks about as done as this week’s Thanksgiving turkey!

Hostess Is a Business

Hostess is a business, meaning they were in business to make money. Do you honestly think the owners of Hostess, with their extremely large brand equity, would just walk away from all of that value? Think of what happens when a business goes out of business.

Twinkies can survive if these businesses did!

Do they literally evaporate, value and all? No! Look at Circuit City! Circuit City was purchased by Tiger Direct and as of this writing, the website still exists, but is going to be rolled into Tiger Direct’s website by December 31, 2012. The same happened with Linens n Things.

Businesses liquidate their assets, which includes their trademarked brands. Hostess will sell their brands, they will sell their recipes, and they will make a boatload of cash. Of course, they’ll have to pay off their debtors, but whatever is left over will go straight into the owners’ pockets.

Twinkies Can’t Die

I’m sure there are numerous venture capital firms salivating at the idea of buying Hostess or their assets, and I’m sure Hostess will be willing to sell to the highest bidder. So, don’t buy into the hype. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of this hype is a marketing ploy by Hostess to drum up interest in a sale of their assets.

So, merry early Christmas, Twinkies can’t die. I can’t guarantee who will own the brand, or who will be baking them, but I would be very surprised if they weren’t around in the future. I mean, there’s a very short list of things that will survive a nuclear holocaust, surely Twinkies can survive a simple bankruptcy. Let’s just hope Twinkies don’t turn on us!