Money is tight, the girl is right, you’d elope tonight, but that wouldn’t be bright. What do you do? Your wedding day will be one of the most important days in your life, and you want to make sure it is memorable. What are some things that you need to purchase:
- Wedding Coordinator
- Wedding Dress
- Amazing venue
- Catering
- Flowers
- DJ
- Photographer
- Cake
- Open Bar
- Invitations
- Bride’s Maids Gifts
That certainly isn’t a comprehensive list, but it’s enough to make anyone into an anyonezilla. You know how iPhone says “Don’t worry there’s an app for that”? Well, don’t worry, there’s a loan for that! But, should you take out a loan is the better question.
Should I Get A Wedding Loan?
What is funny about today’s society and my generation, is how different our definition for the word “should” is. To us, “should” and “can” are completely synonymous. This is probably why we are so financially inept, but let me explain a bit more.
When someone considers getting a loan for anything, they say “should I get this wedding loan, mortgage, car loan, etc.?” But what they are thinking is: “Can I get this wedding loan, mortgage, car loan, etc.?”
To this person, they’ve already decided that they will get it, now they just need to figure out how to make the numbers work. If I lower my 401K contributions, if I cut my employee stock purchase plan, if I stop contributing to the college fund, then I might be able to afford this loan.
So, let me ask you again, should you get a wedding loan? Not can you get it, banks will basically finance anyone who’s breathing, especially if you have a job, but should you get a wedding loan?
Should I Get A Wedding Loan? Seriously.
Let’s first start with an obvious questions: Which is better: Being in debt, or being debt free?
If you’re thinking “that’s not fair!” then my question to you is “why?” In order to truly decide if you should get a wedding loan, you need to consider your core values and beliefs. If you think your marriage would be started off better without a loan, then that is 1 strike against the loan.
Next question: What is most important to you regarding this wedding?
Hopefully your answer is marriage. That is the main thing you should care about at the end of all of this, literally being married.
Next question: Who are you trying to impress?
If all you want is marriage, and you don’t have a lot of money, then who are you trying to impress? Look at your guest list and truly consider the people you’ve invited. Are these people who you love and care for, or were they people who you struggled to think of because you wanted to have a big, impressive wedding?
If you have a more modest wedding, you might not impress many people, but you’ll start your marriage off on far firmer ground. Forget about impressing people, and worry about the important part: the person you love, and the future health of your relationship with them.
Our View On Wedding Loans.
I hate when I read articles and the writer doesn’t have the tenacity to finish the article with their opinion. Wedding loans are dumb. They are a terrible mistake, and sure, there might be some grey area out there where it might make sense, but I can’t think of it, and most scenarios don’t qualify. Starting your marriage out with debt (and no assets to show for it), is a huge mistake.
You will be far better off throwing a more modest wedding, with closer friends and family. Yes, it won’t be a Disney Storybook wedding, but you’ll be more likely to have a Disney Storybook marriage. Don’t be fooled by the materialism that is thrown in your face. The same mindless consumption that wrecks our everyday finances, is also wrecking our marriages.
You don’t need a fancy venue, you don’t need fancy catering, you don’t need alcohol, and you don’t need terrible guests. The only people who will care about these previously mentioned things, are exactly the kind of guests you don’t want. Have a smaller more intimate wedding, and it will probably be the most heartwarming way to send you off into your new marriage.
That is my opinion on this. You’ll find plenty of places that will tout these loans to make some money, but that’s not my style. If you get one of these loans, and regret it, I want you to know there was at least one source of information out there that had the tenacity to stand up and tell you not to go along with the crowd.
OK Smart Guy, What Should I Do?
Now you’re talking! You didn’t think I would come to that conclusion and leave you hanging, right? Firstly, look at your venue. If you’re a member of a church, then you can usually use the church for free, or a much smaller fee for the ceremony.
Some churches might even have an area that is suitable for the reception! Additionally, I’ve been apart of weddings where the church not only offers up the kitchen, but members actually volunteer to cook. This is usually done just for the cost of the food!
If you aren’t a member of a church, then consider a smaller venue. Why a smaller venue? Fewer guests! I’ll be honest, and avoid sounding cold: Most wedding’s have guests who the Bride or Groom barely know, and there are also guests who only came for the food, drinks, and cake.
Instead of trying to scrape up filler guests who will probably cost you $100+ per plate, you should refine your list to only include people you truly love and care about. There is no crime in this.
Boot the Booze.
I’ve just committed blasphemy against today’s generation! A dry wedding! How could I even THINK of such a thing? My wife and I did it, and it turned out great. If my guests were only there for the booze, then they were no guests of mine. If anyone secretly disliked our wedding because there wasn’t alcohol, then I hope they let me know so I know who my true friends are.
Alcohol is terribly expensive, and unnecessary. I’ve heard people try to rationalize it (it loosens people up), but it isn’t worth the cost. If someone needs alcohol to loosen up around me and my wife, then they’ve got a problem.
Open bars pose a huge and unnecessary expense for a newly married couple. I’ve even heard adults say things like “you can’t have a wedding without a bar” and it astonishes me.
Firstly, way to go, cheap skate, for needing to put your tab on a newly married couple who are probably in a far worse financial position. Secondly, if you aren’t there to see the new couple (as indicated by the “you can’t have a wedding without” statement), then you’re in the wrong place.
Consider Your Future.
There are many things that you can’t have a wedding without (think: bride, groom, God, Minister, etc), but alcohol isn’t one of them. You don’t need a bar for a good time, and if your guests think so, let them know they are more than welcome to stay home and not share in this amazing moment in your life.
Many people out there that have a vested interest in you making this poor financial decision, but please consider it deeply before doing it. Starting a marriage off with debt is not the best decision. Like we established earlier, being debt free is better than being in debt.