Finance Poet: A Black Friday Haiku Story

2936384537 c04ebd176b m Finance Poet: A Black Friday Haiku Story

Image by Dunechaser via Flickr

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This is a story of love at first sight, loss, and war.  Most of all, this is a complete satire, enjoy.

The Discovery

Black Friday Has Come
Big Screen TV, I should not
But it calls to me

Where is the paper
Does a deal exist for it?
I must find out now

There is a discount!
Never has it been cheaper
Can this price be real?

Clear my schedule
Cancel all celebrations
This is important

We will save so much
By purchasing this TV
Deal of a lifetime

Grab the camping gear
There is only one week ’til
We need this badly

Our TV is old
Replacement Necessary
No more discussion

Thanksgiving is skipped
Necessary Sacrifice
We’ll do it next year

The Trip

We must drive faster
Car in front of me is slow
Rage is building up

Tailgating’s a tool
We must let this slow car know
We have good reason

Shaking fist in rage
Also a driving tool, kids
Don’t do as I do

The Arrival

Finally arrived
Success is almost attained
Just a bit further

Parked and approaching
We are second in the line
Defeat tastes bitter

My kids took too long
My vehicle was too slow
Rage building again

I throw down our gear
Tent assembled angrily
A scene has been made

Camping in defeat
Solemnly, the nights pass by
Hug ad for comfort

The day has arrived
We all crowd the store’s entrance
Some people smell bad

The air is so cold
My children are complaining
Rage building again

LET ME IN THE STORE
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S GOOD
I NEED THAT TV

The War Zone

Doors are now open
We stampede like elephants
Wild look in eyes

Kids slowing me down
They complain of tired legs
Piggyback needed

Like mama possum
Kids cling, I am ornery
Running through aisles

People everywhere
Explosions are all around
Surround sound testing

WHERE ON EARTH IS IT?
The world melts to a blur
Fatigue sets in

I spot it ahead
Display found, but things look dire
My eyes meet its screen

I embrace the model
I look into its bright screen
Cradled in my arms

It lay in my arms
Looking up into my eyes
Like a hurt soldier

It screams “take me home”
And my heart wretches in pain
Leave no man behind

“SALES ASSOCIATE!”
“WE NEED HELP! THERE’S NOT MUCH TIME!”
“DON’T YOU LEAVE ME HERE!”

“Sir, I am sorry-”
“I NEED IT, AND IT NEEDS ME.”
“They’re all sold out.”

“NOOOOOOOO!” I loudly yell
“WHAT ABOUT THIS FLOOR MODEL?”
I cradle it more

His face grimaces
“I already bought that one.”
Rage sets in — again.

Other Great Black Friday Posts From The Yakezie:

Updates:

Comments

  1. says

    Thank you for the link, but you missed one of my rules! You were supposed to scope out the place the day before so you would know where the TVs would be. Better luck after Christmas.

    • says

      Hey Sam,

      A Haiku is a 3 line poem where the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7 syllables, and the third line has 5 syllables. I put a bunch of haikus together to create a story. I hope you liked it :D.

      Thanks,
      Timothy

    • says

      Hi Aloysa,

      I’m glad that you laughed at it. My wife thinks it’s funny how I think of these things. She’ll see me doing nothing, but I have this big smile across my face and she asks what I’m thinking about now. She usually loves hearing all of the strange things I think up. lol.

      Thanks,
      Timothy

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